they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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