yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
