Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
