No awkward lesbian experiences without me
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
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