i permit you to call me
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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