Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
