Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
