bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
