oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
