i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize