They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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