Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize