So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
