hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Farmville is her only friend.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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