It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
