I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
