East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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