drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
