I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
