Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
