Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
