Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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