Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
