No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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