Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Randomize
