He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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