We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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