we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize