What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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