Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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