Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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