Define "chronic" masturbator.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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