Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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