If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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