how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
