Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
