We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
