Cold hands, warm shart.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize