Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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