She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
