Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
