i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
