the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
