Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
