I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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