thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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