The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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