So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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