You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
