I don't think brook has ever known best
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
