on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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