:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
