I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize