Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize