Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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