I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Randomize
