It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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