i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize