Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
