And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Just puked most of my soul out..
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