What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
