so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
