? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
