This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
